The closest relationship in every family’s the mother-daughter relationship. It is bitter-sweet relationship, which goes through many ups and downs in the course of maturation and can be compared to driving a roller coaster.
The ride starts very early. Any girl at 5-year-old considers her mother as an idol or goddess. She wants to dress like her, want to use her lipstick or perfume, to mimic her movements. Girls are learning that the best place to find love and help is their mother.
But that relationship begins to change in the teenage years, when most of the girls do not want to be close to their mothers, because they believe that they can solve every problem alone or with the help of their friends.
When this tumultuous period will pass, things are back to normal and the mother-daughter relationship becomes stronger than ever. It’s really crazy ride.
There are different types of relationships. Some mothers are best friends with their daughters, but some want to hold rigor and are avoiding the friendship.
Best friends relationship
If you and your daughter openly talk about everything, including love, sex, constantly talking on the phone, leave her to do mistakes in life, then you have a relationship like “best friends.”
The good side: For your daughter is easier to speak with you if you are a “cool” mom, she will have a desire to share her problems with you, to ask questions related to some delicate topics, to talk about smoking, alcohol, sex or drugs.
The bad side: Sometimes your daughter needs a stern motherly advice, not from a good friend. If you consistently act as a good friend, you will have no heart to be tighter.
Good mother relationship
If you and your daughter talk only “officially” and you are attempting to give her financial stability and useful tips, practice austerity and discipline and at times you exaggerate with the maternal care, then you are “good mother.”
The good side: Every mother wants only the best for her children. She wants her loved ones to build a strong character, to make right decisions, to be able to cope with problems and learn how to survive in today’s world in order to achieve success. If you are more rigid in the upbringing, your daughter will better adhere to the rules than if you are good friend to her.
The bad side: Sometimes the mothers know how to exaggerate with the maternal care. If you are just a parent, then it is likely she would be embarrassed to come to you for a more personal problem, because she will be afraid that you would criticize her. Excessive rigor and maternal care can cause her to go exactly against your rules to get rid of the restrictions.
How to make a balance between good mother and good friend?
The mother should enter into more roles, from nurse to teacher, and somewhere in the middle is the role friend. It is a challenge for every woman to find a balance and be simultaneously between the good mother and the good friend. Here are some tips that will help you achieve this:
Do not avoid the taboo topics.
Mothers should openly talk with their daughters about topics like sex, love, drugs. Usually these topics are avoided because many mothers don’t know how to approach to their children. You should not support your daughter in her escapades, but to educate her on these issues.
Do not criticize.
If you start criticizing, make sure your daughter you will no longer be addressed when there is a problem. Listen to her then consult it, pointing out the best way to solve the problem.
Observe her interests.
Be curious what music she listen to, who is her favorite author or movie. Gather more information about the interests of your daughter and you can easily get close to her and find more to talk about.
Be prepared for her friends.
When you know that your daughter has a guest, do not look disorganized. If you are appropriately dressed with arranged hair, your daughter will be proud that you’re her mother. Be the “cool” mom. Show your sense of humor while talking to her friends and throw a couple of tips before you go.
Go out just you two once a week.
Choose one day a week in which you will do things together. You can visit the theater together or eat pizza.
As much as you want to be the best friend for your daughter, you’re her mother. It means that you need to set clear boundaries. If you set it as a friend, you wouldn’t be strict when it’s necessary, because you will want to avoid the hassle. Set a limit to what you bring and leave little room for rigor and discipline.