‘Do not accept candies from a stranger.’
‘Never talk to strangers.’
‘If it ever happens that a stranger comes to pick you up from school, tell your teacher you do not know him.’
Every child grows up hearing those instructions on a daily basis; so much that the idea of a stranger becomes scarier to them than it should be. Every parent and elder consider it their responsibility to tell children never to trust strangers, probably rightly so. However, they often forget to warn them of their own family, friends, and loved ones. We think strangers are the bad people, that nothing will harm us if we stay away from them. That is not quite true. More of than not, sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists are hidden among our loved ones, and it is not easy to know who they are.
Psychopaths are identified by persistent anti-social behavior. They have zero empathy and are completely indulged in their own self-interest. Manipulating others is their favorite thing to do, and those who most commonly become their victims are their own ‘friends.’ There are different ways a psychopath, sociopath, or a narcissist will use in order to do hurt their target and get their work done. What is most disturbing is the fact that they can lead their victims to believe whatever they want him/her to believe; victims may suffer from feelings of guilt and blame themselves for any offense they commit because of the manipulative nature of a psychopath.
Staying away from these people is important. These people are not just a part of TV serials, movies, and novels; they are real, and there is a huge possibility that you may have had an encounter with one of them. Look out for these seven ways that sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists use to control their victims and silence them.
1. Absurd Interpretations Of Your Words
Have you ever been through a situation that turned ugly just because someone misinterpreted your saying and made a huge deal out of nothing? Psychopaths live for that. It is what fuels their engines. It does not matter what you said to them. They will change your words and make sure others know of their version of the story so that you come off as a damaging or cruel person. As shallow as it may be, watching you fall in the eyes of others helps them rejoice.
Remember, words are changeable because there is no proof as to what or what not you say exactly. Being extra careful about what you say in front of them is a good idea. It would be ideal if you can avoid talking to such people completely. However, if that is not possible, keep your conversations with them short and to the point.
2. They Think They Are Your Puppet Master
You are like a puppet in the hands of narcissists and psychopaths; they love dictating and controlling every move you make, and they do it patiently and smartly. Taking it step by step, they will first seclude you from your friends and family. You will notice people who were close to you start to drift away, misunderstandings develop and your friends and family stop trusting you for reasons that you do not know or understand.
That is their cue. That is when the narcissists come in to take advantage of your vulnerability and loneliness. They will act like your greatest support in the hour of need. Using their sweet exterior demeanor, they will gain your trust and let you depend on them completely. Once that happens, you are in their control, because they will now have become your go-to person. You will seek them in every one of your weak moments and do exactly as they say. The puppet is in their hands now, a puppet they can use to do whatever they wish for it to do.
If you know what you are facing; the techniques and tricks being played on you to diminish your sense of security, it can at least equip you with the information about what exactly you are facing and that information can help you devise a plan on how to regain back the control that you have lost.
3. They Don’t Like Discussions That Hold Them Accountable
Narcissists are not fond of any discussion that may focus on one of their bad qualities. If you pin point how aloof they have been as a friend lately, they will bring up something you did, weeks or months or even years ago. That certain mistake they bring up will have no restriction in terms of time or topic under discussion. They may even make an irrelevant joke or start telling a story just to distract you. Derailing discussions is one of their best qualities and they use it to their benefit entirely.
The solution to this is to not let them distract you. Keep stating the facts regardless of what they are saying. To keep them focused, you could also try saying things like, ‘let’s stay focused on what I am talking about’ or ‘you are going off track’ etc. And if even then it does not work, then be smart enough to walk away from the argument. As the old saying goes, ‘Never argue with stupid people. They bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience.’
‘That did not happen.’
‘You imagined it.’
‘You are crazy.’
The three sentences above are some examples of gaslighting. It is a manipulation technique used by psychopaths and narcissists that make you question your memory and sense of what is real. You start doubting your own self, constantly confused between whether something happened for real or not. And, of course, your psychopath companion will convince you of the latter because it makes everything all the more easier for him/her. You will not be able to speak up about the mistreatment that you go through every day and just suffer in silence at the hands of the narcissist.
Plant the roots of your reality deep into the ground so that whatever the narcissist tells you will not shake it. Write down your experiences, talk to another trusted friend, or join a support group. It will help by helping you break apart from the false reality that the narcissist has made you belief exists.
Triangulation works on the rule, ‘majority is the authority.’ It is used by narcissists to give them the upper hand in an argument. They bring in other people’s opinions to justify their behavior while regarding the victim’s objections to it as invalid. Making it seem like they have the majority on their side of the argument, the narcissists overpower your side of the argument. You may have been right, but they will never let you believe that, leaving you to only question yourself and your ideas.
Solution? Remember that whoever the narcissists gain support from is in the same boat as you are. He/she is also being triangulated by them. Beat them at their own game by getting the support of the person not under the control of the narcissists! Finding your own support may help as well.
6. Projection – Killing You By Point Out Your Flaws
Projection is a defense mechanism whereby people defend themselves against their own negative qualities by denying that they have those qualities and instead, associating them with someone else. Psychopaths will use this on you. They will grab every opportunity they can get to point out your flaws to you. You will feel more and more insecure every day and it will only get worse with time.
Avoid revealing your insecurities and past experiences to someone until they have proved their character to you because that information can be used against you if the person you are dealing with is a narcissist, which you never know of. Remember, more often than not, narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths maintain the most mesmerizing demeanor.
7. Destructive Criticism
No, this kind of criticism does not help you improve; it is not even meant for you to improve. Destructive criticism is based on personal insults and ever-rising standards against which you are judged. This is the one mostly used by narcissists and psychopaths as another way to bring you down to your knees. They will look for reasons to be dissatisfied with you no matter what. You could be 100% right in an argument or a request they made may have been fulfilled by you as perfectly as possible, yet they will still have something negative to say. They will always have something negative to say. This leaves you feeling worthless and hopeless.
Do not get fooled by it. Have a little faith in yourself. If you think you have done a good enough job, or if you know that you could not have done it better, then you are good to go. You should realize that their objective is to only bring you down. Do not allow them to do that. Give yourself credit for what you deserve.
It is important to say goodbye to toxic people in your life. Toxic people like sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists. To all our readers, if you know someone like this, I think you know what you should do. Trust me, you will feel healthier and happier. Lastly, to lighten the mood just a little bit, let us have a look at this fun fact:
8. Yikes! Sherlock Holmes May Be a Sociopath
Everyone knows Holmes did not care much for emotions and was a lonely man. Moreover, he does not have much patience to bear boredom. This coupled with his (as is evident) extremely high IQ level and a hint of narcissism may indicate that he may be a sociopath. However, a plot twist presents itself when we think about his friendship with Watson and his love affairs because that means he is not completely deprived on emotions. Also, he has no will to exercise absolute power on anyone, which I think we can all agree is a major sociopath trait.
Well, it looks like this mystery can only be solved by Sherlock Holmes himself.
Originally Published by: https://tapoos.com